Friday, August 14, 2015

Seen the Elephant

I left Colby, Kansas after the morning routine of scrubbing bug splatter off the windshield at a gas station. While I was in front of the car I also noticed that there was enough wheat in the front grill to fill a box of cereal. I spent the morning driving flat, straight roads. Later in the evening I'd realize that stretch through the Great Plains, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, was the dullest part of America. Cruise control is probably the only reason I made it. The speed limit is on the roads I was on was always 65 and if you set cruise control, you can drive for 50 miles without braking or needing the gas. I'm not joking. Seeing endless field of sunflowers was the only comfort.

For lunch I stopped in Sidney, Nebraska. I decided on Dairy Queen and the burger I had was amazing. What a terrific place - you can walk in and have a good burger and walk out with a blizzard. 

I made a stop at Chimney Rock in Nebraska. Chimney Rock itself was underwhelming, but there was a sign warning about rattlesnakes, so I was a little more interested. Then I went in to the visitor center. 

The small exhibit in the visitor center cost $3, a modest fee which I would have paid just to use the shitter. 

I was happy to learn that Native Americans called the rock "Elk Penis". That name made more sense to them, and to me. 


I also read about a phrase Americans moving west used - "seen the elephant".

Everyone copies America. American culture is taking over the world. It doesn't matter if you think this is good or bad - it's already happening. I saw a great example of this today outside Alliance, Nebraska. On the side of route 87 is Carhenge. Carhenge is a formation built from old cars and served as a model for Stonehenge. 



A little further down the road there was a post-modern rest area. 

I was excited to get to South Dakota and immediately drove through Buffalo Gap  National Grasslands, which was as you would expect, except without buffalo. When the Black Hills were in sight things started to look awesome, I was in a forest, there was twists and turns, hills, it was fun to drive, fun to look at, and it was then I fully realized how dull my drive through the Great Plains had been. This place was special and the Black Hills actually did look black. The Black Hills have been intriguing throughout time, dinosaurs liked the Black Hills, if you believe in science.  

I have time lapse videos driving through Wind Cave National Park to Mt. Rushmore but for reasons that will soon be clear I cannot post them yet. This time I taped my phone to the rear view mirror and was pleasantly surprised at how well it worked. 

It was a joy to drive through this area and the first thing I wanted to see was the Crazy Horse Monument. Even though it has been a work in progress since 1948 and is still quite a long ways from being completed, I wanted to check the progress. 

After some twists and turns and ups and downs I could see Crazy Horse towering over the Avenue of the Chiefs pointing to the East. It looked cool, but I can confirm that it is far from completion. 

I headed towards Mt. Rushmore next and traffic picked up. I drove behind a minivan from California. The elevation is over 5,000 feet near Rushmore. 

I found that the key to Rushmore is to avoid the tourists and drive past the entrance and pull off to the side of the road. That's where I got this photo, which was enough of a view for me. 


Keystone, South Dakota was the next place I drove through and it was a nightmare of tourism. It took another half hour or so to get to Deadwood, which a was a beautiful and enjoyable ride. 

I checked into the First Gold Hotel and Casino. They informed me that I'd be in building 3, but there was 24 hour golf cart pickup in case I needed to gamble in the dark hours. 

When I got to my room I was hungry. So I called for a golf cart to bring me to the deli. The bacon cheeseburger I ate back in my room was terrific. After I ate I opened my bag and realized my MacBook was in Colby, Kansas, and likely never to be in my possession again. I went to bed unenthused and salty. 

INDEX

Start: Colby, KS

End: Deadwood, SD

Miles: 534.8

Time on road: 10:23

States: Kansas, Nebraska, Colorado, South Dakota 

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