Waking up at 515 was rough, but I was excited to take the ferry to Scotland. I quickly and contemptuously ate an English muffin at the hotel after Tommy and I painted our faces. It rained as we loaded onto the coach.
The ferry was massive, Cathal, told me it was the medium-sized one. It was quite luxurious. Kate and I got coffee at a cafe on board and a woman told us that the sea was 90% calmer today than it had been, it was so rough that you couldn't even get out of your seat. I nearly died at the thought of 2.5 hours of rough seas, but, on this rainy morning, we were in the grace and favor of Celtic Gods and our ride was nice and smooth. I drank coffee and nearly got blown off the ship when I stepped out onto the promenade.
We met a new bus driver who boarded us onto the new coach - all gold everything.
Driving through western Scotland we finally got to experience some of the narrow, seemingly dangerous, and beautifully scenic roads. Our trip up the kingsroad from Dublin to Belfast was almost entirely wide-open motorway.
Cathal gave us some Scottish history, which is similar to Irish history in that much of it involves struggles with England. That's what life is though - the struggle, a fight to survive.
Out first stop in Scotland was the Robert Burns cottage and museum. Robbie was born in a house similar to the size of the one my great grandmother was born in, in Ireland, which was a cow shed the last time I was there.
We were treated to some fine Scottish weather as Kevin drove us to Glasgow for lunch through the pissing, sideways rain. I've been sitting in the first seat for days and it was hilarious watching Kevin and Cathal talk. Kevin speaks a different language entirely. I have plenty of experience with the Western European accents but Kevin is on another level. Pretty sure he's speaking a language people stopped using 500 years ago. I think the sheep have a better chance of understanding it. Cathal claimed to understand 75% of what Kevin was saying but I don't think he's very good at math. Tommy said he got the last word of every turn, maybe. But, that was a hour or so ago and now that I'm listening on this leg of the drive I'm getting a little better. Like the rest of us, Kevin just wants to be understood, so I'll keep listening.
Ate lunch in Glasgow at Horton's and the tomato and basil soup was excellent and the burger was terrible. The meat was meat too lean and overcooked. The waiter nearly spilled Katie's soup all over her.
We got to the King Robert Hotel around 5 p.m and after settling in I wiped the face paint off and took a nap. Dinner was at the hotel and we were served white rice and chili - a staple of the Scottish diet.
After my second shower at the hotel in Dublin, the name I never cared enough to know, I'm ranking it as the top European shower I've ever had the pleasure of using. The wide stream, fierce pressure, and consistent temperature provided a transformative experience each morning, it truly was an Irish spring.
After breakfast we loaded up the coach and headed to the North. Cathal, our guide, covered about 450 years of Irish history, a violent history, in under 2 hours. The line "surrender or you'll all die" got people's attention.
We were treated to a rare beautiful day in the Irish winter. The sun shined brightly welcoming us to the North like kings and queens. On the bus Tommy offered me a pair of sunglasses he found on the fairway of Longmeadow. Their snug fit made me suspect that they were women's sunglasses. He pretended to be offended when I suggested this, and did not allow me to continue wearing them.
We picked up an auxiliary tour guide, Maureen, upon arrival to Belfast city center. She led us outside of town to the Northern Ireland parliament building, where we stopped for some photos. My favorite line from Maureen so far is "Ireland is not very wooded". She also pointed out that Game of Thrones was mostly filmed in Northern Ireland.
Belfast has the best-looking Irish people I've seen yet. Relatively speaking, of course, as the Irish aren't know for their beauty.
Irish people like their little boasts and making things sound impressive, which are often quite specific - largest enclosed city park in Europe, longest bar in Ireland for university students, tallest obelisk in Europe commemorating a defeat over Napoleon, the largest hospital in Northern Ireland named after a British Queen.
Had a lovely lunch and I ordered the roast of the day. I hadn't had Yorkshire pudding in at least 10 years so that was a treat.
The Titanic Experience was impressive. I went through the self-guided tour at an extra medium pace. The most compelling parts of the exhibit for me were the details of when the ship started sinking and the details of the survivors. The chaos and panic when the ship started sinking is unimaginable. What could be more terrifying than being in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and aboard a ship you know is going to sink. Unimaginable.
We had a full day in Dublin today. Breakfast at our hotel agreed with me very much - bacon, sausages, beans, orange juice, and coffee. Although the breakfast agreed with me there was a scandal. One girl discovered a spot of mold on her toast and advised us to be wary of the bread. During breakfast Tommy informed me that I was talking in my sleep. Around 4 a.m. he couldn't make out what I was saying, but he was sure that the conversation ended with me saying, or yodeling, "HE HE HE WHOOOO".
Our first stop after a guided bus tour of Dublin city was Saint Patrick's Cathedral. I had too much caffeine at breakfast to listen closely to the tour guide but I got some awesome photos. I'm beginning to think that caffeine might be my magic elixir because I'm a better photographer and funnier when I have a caffeine buzz.
St. Pat charms Tommy and Kate
St. Patrick's had a gift shop at the opposite end of the hall from the altar. Tourism is the religion of Ireland.
We then headed to Phoenix Park, the largest enclosed city park in Europe. We drove past the Irish White House and the ambassador to Ireland's house. There's an opening and the tour guide Sally suggested putting our resumes in because it's "good work if you can get it".
Trinity College was the next stop to see the Book of Kells. The book is over a thousand years old so I was pretty impressed in the 20 seconds I look at it. I took some photos in the Long Room upstairs and then we headed to lunch after a restroom stop. I tried 6 hand sanitizer dispensers on the walls throughout Trinity College and all of them were empty, which didn't surprise me because the Irish are a filthy people - I should know, I rarely shower on the weekends, but that's between me and the lord.
The Long Room
Lunch was terrible, the fish with the fish and chips tasked like it was just caught in the Liffey belly up, and Rosie's salad took about 35 minutes to show up. Hopefully the students chose more wisely than we did.
The students had free time so we went to check out Kilmainham jail. We were unable to get a tour because it was so packed, but there was a stirring monument across the street to the men executed after the Easter Uprising in 1916. I thought it was worth the cab fare just to see monument, I wasn't sure everyone else was so I didn't ask.
We headed back to the city center and I had time to take some photos in the heart of Dublin. The whole group met for dinner at Belvedere Hotel. We were served a dish and we couldn't figure out if it was the best soup ever or the worst entree ever.
Right now, we're sitting in the hotel lobby eating pizza and hanging out. Tomorrow we're headed to Belfast and I'm excited because that the only leg of the trip I've never visited. I'm looking forward to the bus ride to Belfast and seeing the countryside.
Getting a snow day off from school was convenient for our departure from Lowell and allowing me to ease into the day and get my mind right. We left extra early and the roads were a mess. It took us two and a half hours or get to Logan airport from downtown Lowell. When we finally got there we had a good 5+ hours to kill in terminal E. I people watched and had a delicious prime rib French Dip at Durgin Park for dinner.
Airports are fun place to pickup the vibes. There's a latent excitement because people don't seem to mind waiting for hours. I certainly didn't. Most other places people are furious when they have to wait. But as soon as the status quo is disrupted people are ready to draw their fangs. I saw a lady bump into a man standing idly and there was a crash and a brief instant of animosity. This aggression also manifests itself in line for boarding as people inch aggressively in fear of getting locked out of overhead compartments and armrest claims.
It was the slowest boarding I've ever been a part of and when I boarded the plane I was impressed by the size of the aircraft. I hadn't flown internationally since 2005, so perhaps I had become accustomed to smaller aircraft. I passed a section of seats that reminded em of 'the couples' toilet' I had seen on a Saturday Night Live. It was a toilet where couples could sit side-by-side, face-to-face and hold hands and stare into each others' eyes as they shitted together. Despite that image I would have preferred for sit there and have space to exhale.
Our group was scattered throughout the back of the plane - 4 chaperones, 22 students. I sat next to a couple of nice kids. I had the window seat and I informed them how I had consumed an excessive amount of water in the airport. We laughed, but soon they'd probably be concocting ways to poison my dinner. However, the plane is so damn hot and packed that I might sweat it out. The flight attendant hassled me about putting my backpack all the way under the seat in front. The plane was about to split open, but we have to follow procedures. I gave my bag a couple of kicks and she was eventually satisfied.
As we took off into the storm and disappeared into the raging winds and cloudy, dark night there seemed to be a nervousness simmering in the cabin. U2's One played from my Irish Hit Parade list and as Bono sang I did feel like we were one, and carrying each other. I'm never afraid so I'm sure the other passengers appreciated the strength that I was transmitting. It was the bumpiest takeoff and climb I can remember. Then The Wolfe Tones version of You'll Never Beat the Irish played and I was certain we'd be ok. But, then again, we were flying British Airways and stopping over in London first so I didn't want the storm mistaking us for a bunch of tea-drinking British snowflakes. Within thirty American minutes the cabin reeked of vomit. The flight attendants struggled desperately to distribute beverages.
The flight was long and cramped. I watched Sandra Bullock and George Clooney in Gravity as we soared at 35,000 feet over the Atlantic Ocean going 583 mph with an air temperature of -72 degrees, so it was the closest I could conceivably get to feeling like they did in the movie. I enjoyed it mainly because of how terrifying it made outer space seem.
Finally landed in London-Heathrow and I really am not yet prepared to relive the experience we had there. I'll just say this - Heathrow is the worst airport in the world. Heathrow essentially terrorized us and we eventually boarded for a short trip to Dublin. This short flight would turn out to be, as Tommy said, one of the three worst flights ever. It was filled with huge drops and swings and everyone agreed that it was brutal. I was nervous that I was going to throw up on one of the lovely girls sitting on either side of me. It shook some people up. It was miserable. Once we landed in Dublin and deplaned I was gassed. One kid's bag didn't show up at the baggage claim.
After checking in at the hotel we went to Dublin's city center and did a short driving and walking tour before dinner. We walked down Grafton st and went to our arranged dinner at Thunder Road Cafe where they served us bangers and mash. Some people seemed skeptical of Irish cuisine, but I think generally it was better than expected. I love bangers and mash so I was in my glory.
Whenever we got on our "coach" people were dozing off, including me. It was a long, hard day and people are very tired, I know I'm exhausted. Despite the travel obstacles I've had a great time so far and we have a long way to go, so after a good sleep we'll be rejuvenated and ready to get back at it.
I grew up in a house that always had the Irish Hit Parade blazing on Saturday mornings. I've always liked Irish music and traditional Celtic sounds, the infectious vibrations touch me deep in the cockles of my heart. I'm lucky enough to be going to Ireland next month so I'll be listening to these songs to get my mind right, to reignite boyhood's fire in my blood.
Erin Go Bragh!
Update:
I can't believe I forgot to mention how the Murphy family was handsomely rewarded for listening to the WROL Irish Hit Parade. Sometime in the 1990s WROL ran a contest for a free trip to Ireland. You had to call in every time you heard the airplane taking off to enter your name. I've never been interested in contests with long odds, but my mother became fanatical about listening and calling. So, as it turned out, my mother ended up winning and we won a free trip to Ireland. We were still surprised when the limo showed up at the house to bring us to the airport.
Avicii - Wake Me Up
Best song of 2013. Not even close.
The rest of the songs are in no particular order.
Chris Malinchak - So Good to Me
Forgot this one the first time around. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
Great song, great sound.
Capital Cities - Safe and Sound
I saw Capital Cities with Johnny G at the House of Blues on October 28th, the same night the Red Sox beat the Cardinals 3-1 in Game 5 of the World Series.
I tried to sleep in this morning at the Tropicana Hotel, but I woke up at 730 am. My flight was not until 114 am so it was going to be a long day. The Trop was going to charge me $35 to stay until 5, so I needed to find some things to do because I wasn't paying to lie in bed and watch ESPN. After a little web browsing I had tentative plan. I was disappointed when I discovered that the Liberace Museum had closed it's doors. The HBO movie Behind the Candelabra got me interested in Mr Showmanship, and proved that Matt Damon is the most excellent actor of his generation.
After checking out I left my bags with the doorman because my first stop was in the Trop - Mob Attraction. It was an interactive tour about the mafia and Las Vegas. If you have ever seen a gangster movie then you wouldn't learn anything new. It starts off at Ellis Island and they give you a passport and then you are supposed to work your way up through the ranks and make money working for Big Tony. It's pretty silly, especially for someone doing it alone. After an interview with one of his associates, I sat down at a cafe with a guy playing the role of Big Tony. He and his associate didn't know if they could trust me because I was from Massachusetts. Despite his concern, he slid an envelope of fake money across the table and told me to deliver it to his guy and don't say anything to the cops. At this point I was barely able to contain my laughter at the ridiculous role-playing capers I had gotten myself into. Then I went to the police station and was questioned by a cop. He asked me why I was talking to Big Tony and what was in the envelope he slipped me. I'm no snitch so I had to think quickly and said I was lost and looking for directions to Yankee Stadium and that I didn't know nothing about no envelope. He pressed me harder, but I didn't give up the goods.
So I ended up in the slammer. I picked up the jailhouse phone after the third ring, as instructed, and Lucky Lucciano informed me that he respected my standup character and that I should head out to Vegas to make the real money. The role-playing was over once I got to Vegas and I was free to roam around the rest of the exhibit and learn about the "players" of early Vegas. I took some photos of the ridiculous portraits there and read a little. My favorite quote from the exhibit was, "someone is always trying to take your place in this business".
I appreciated Allen Smiley heading to prison in a white tux
The most interesting thing I found was the digital journals of Meyer Lansky. I flipped through to see if there were any bits of wisdom and then I somehow broke the machine.
At the very end, right before I was transported to the gift shop, I was gunned down by two Tommy gun wielding gangsters and then welcomed to the family. Didn't make sense, but whatever. Was it worth $28? No.
I needed lunch so after Mob Attraction I went to In-N-Out Burger for the first time in my life. It was so busy there was nothing in and out about it, but the burger and fries were good.
After lunch I made my way to the National Atomic Testing Museum. I only went to the special exhibit Area 51 - Myth or Reality. It was pretty corny, but I got some statistics that made me think. Let's consider for a moment the logistics involved in an alien UFO landing on earth. Our galaxy, the Milky Way, is one of 100,000s of known galaxies, and I stress known. Let's see how long it would take to travel from the earth to the sun, which would only be within our galaxy. The Earth is on average 93,000,000 miles from the sun. The other day I drove about 620 miles from San Francisco to Las Vegas. If I traveled to the Sun at that rate it would take over 400 years. If I went at a speed of 2000 mph it would be about 5 years, which is much more reasonable. However, the Earth is closer to the Sun that it is to Pluto. At 2000 mph, it would take over 200 years to reach Pluto, and that's still not out of this galaxy! If there is life out there somewhere the one thing we know for sure is that life ends for all living things, so no being would be able to survive a trip of such an astronomical distance. If you believe a UFO landed on Earth, then you're most likely a fool.
I left the NATM with my alien ID badge and top secret documents and headed for the Bellagio.
New York, New York
Paris
Excalibur, Mandalay Bay in the background, yeah, it's gold
The Bellagio is a gorgeous hotel. I dropped my car off with valet and walked to the Bellagio Fine Art Gallery, and the main exhibit was Warhol Goes West. Some of Andy Warhol's art works for me and some of it doesn't. The room of floating helium-filled silver pillows is pretty cool. Here's a link to that, Silver Clouds. I also liked his row of polaroids, and I was drawn to Mick Jagger, Sylvester Stallone, and Debbie Harry. I wasn't allowed to take photos.
The whole Campbell's soup can and other advertisement pop art doesn't do anything for me. Nor did his take on western portraits of Native Americans. I get that particular images of the west have shaped our perceptions and myths of the west. I wasn't into those, but I was absolutely mesmerized by the Screen Tests 1964-1966.
The Screen Tests are live portraits. Subjects sat in front of a black and white camera for four minutes in a close up shot that showed their head and top of their shoulders. The viewing room was set off to the side in a small area with the videos projected and there was a small padded bench to sit on. Famous people sat for him but I didn't recognize anyone. Here's a screen shot I found to give you an idea.
I went in to sit down and left after a minute to see the rest of the exhibit. Then I was drawn back into the viewing room by a powerful force. Turns out that four minutes of silence and staring is extremely intense. It felt like the subjects were baring their souls to the camera even though no words were spoken. It was as if the camera's penetrating eye would expose their deepest, darkest secrets and fears. It seemed like each and every person was thinking about what the camera was revealing abut them, what fear or shame would the viewer discover. Each of them was uncomfortable and it manifested in different ways.
One woman tried to hide her discomfort by acting bored and another kept looking away. A guy wearing sunglasses maintained some privacy by hiding behind them, or so he thought, because his mouth twitches gave him away. One guy tried to look tough, but his throat swallows and raised chin revealed his false bravado and self-consciousness. Another man tried to relax but his shoulders kept raising because he was taking deep breaths to calm his mind. One woman didn't even have the strength to look at the camera for more than a couple of seconds, she looked around and made a telescope with her magazine, but, of course, looked away with it. She'd rather make jokes than let anyone see her true self. A woman and a man grew their hair so long it hung over their eyes, like a veil to hide their eyes from full view. Nose wrinkles, blinks, and twitches all showed the discomfort of the subjects.
I couldn't look away, I noticed other people were coming and going from the viewing room but I felt like the only person there. I was so moved by the vulnerability of these people who sat for these portraits almost 50 years ago that I felt alone with each of them and nothing could disturb us. One woman started out with a stoic look on her face, but after only about thirty seconds I thought she began cry. She was! She was crying. Wow. She cried a few tears at first and kept a tight look on her face and just let the tears roll down. Then there was a steady stream of tears on both sides of her face - drip, drip, dripping from her chin and she looked away for an instant to compose herself. I wanted to go to her and say - it'll be ok, baby.
I had no idea how long I had been in that room. I looked out the doorway and the entire crowd had turned into new faces. The video transitioned to a woman who was fixing her hair, then she dabbed her eyes and showed off her long fake nails and large rings. She kept fixing her eyes, hair, face, and whatever else might have been slightly out of place. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried to appear perfect on the outside, she couldn't hide the pain. She couldn't use make-up to cover the hurt she felt inside. She may have fooled herself into thinking that if she appeared perfect on the outside that it would cure the despair on the inside, but she didn't fool me, I pitied her, and the hopelessness of the situation made me uncomfortable.
Then, finally, another subject faded in, it was a man. This was no ordinary man though because he appeared comfortable with the camera. He blinked naturally, he didn't swallow hard or breath deeply or look away, and he wasn't afraid. He was happy and invited me to join him in his contentment. He didn't want anything to be different, he accepted life and all it's suffering. It was ok to look at him closely because he didn't try to hide anything. He offered a connection that was true and genuine. Then, after what seemed like hours, I got up and walked out. Screen Tests was a living work of art that is beautiful and touched me deeply, it was pure genius.
Then I headed for McCarran airport and dropped off my car. My trip is just about over. I'm sitting at the airport eating pea and barley soup and drinking a Dutch beer while I watch the planes over Las Vegas.
